Taking back control of my mind

Well, haven't posted consistantly but I'm back.

I got written up for work. Fuck it. That shit is under me. I was told people thought I was selfish. Probably so but it was for my best intention and I love the people that support me and the rest well...you can kiss my ass and you are no longer something that's worth acknowledging too. Do not exist in my life. No eye contact and look right through you as if you are not there. Harsh words but being to bothered thinking what other assholes think about you is just a waste of my time.

Anyway, Cyn tells me it's Julies Bday at Mai Tais. Fuck yeah, I'm down.

So after work, I go to Mai Tais. Say hi to all my cousins and shit. Good times with family. I'm in my fucking scrubs. Too funny. I order a pitcher of Bud Light and I fucken drink that shit by myself. Crazy shit.

I just wanted to drink my worries away.

When we all decided to leave, my cousin mentions that Sky Lopez is there. She's a cute PORN STAR. So me and Norman go I check her out. She ends up going to the bathroom and Roy tells her to take a picture with me. She comes up to me and says where's my camera. I don't have one but I told her to write shit on my scrubs. She does so and I just ask questions as if she was a long lost friend and we are catching up. I tell her hows Krystal Steal doing. She giggles and says she's partying it up. I give a hi five and we leave.

We end up going to some asian bar. We go outside and we notice a massage parlour. We go up and look at the girls. We all talk story and we head back down to the bar.

We go in and me and Norman open a group of girls. OH MY FUCKEN GOD!!!
These chicks are fucken solid. I just got mad horny after that.

We sing some songs and I pop in two Viagras. That shit messed me up. later on I ended up getting short of breathe and stomach cramps. It kicks it.

These fucken chicks are just walking around and I'm just a fucken horn dog.

We end up cruzing to a massage parlour China Spa. I fucken go it and we talk story to mama san. She takes my hand and I go in. My cousins are just waiting in the lobby.

I pay mama 40 and the girl comes in later. She ask for blowjob or everything. I say everything. She said take off my clothes and to go shower. I told her I no like shower. So she said she's coming back. She gets in her nighty. I pay her like 80 bucks. She wanted 150 but I showed her only 80 bucks. She saids this time she gives me discount.

I take off my clothes and she tells me to lay down. She goes and wipes my body with a wash cloth. She goes and rubs my dick and lick my nipples. I get a fucken hard on. She puts on a condom on me and gives a BJ for like 10 seconds. She gets naked and jumps on my dick. After a few stokes she tells me new position. Missonary. I fuck the hell out of her. No short strokes. Just pure hard fast fucking. Like 4 strokes per second. Anyway...

She says I have to jack off and she jacks me off until I cum. Good shit.

I'm hella out of breathe. I'm exhausted.

We head to other parlours and just talk to the girls and mama san. Then I go home.

I woke up with a mean headache today.

----------------

I need to reevaluate my mind and focus. No negative shit. Ignore people and events that go against your goals. Go towards being happy and achieving your goals.

DOne

Boring day

Had to PRM this morning. Woke up 230am and got to work at 4. Worked the floor. They tried to mandate me to work extra but I declined and walked the fuck out. I said I'm tired and could get in an accident if I drive home late after getting up so early. I guess that shit doesn't come into account. Fuck it. No sweat off my back.

Vince called me up to go out but I'm tired and not in the mood.

I need to start doing more shit I like to do. It's just work, work, work. What the fuck?

Well, not really much to report today.

Drinkin' after work

Yesterday, my co workers and I shoot the shit yesterday and talked story and drinking. Had me, Rob, and Kev and our patient Branch. Before that, it was a normal work day. I'm still precepting but now I'm not going to be so encouraging if the results aren't coming in quickly.

Anyway, me and Rob go to Foodland to get some beer and cigs. The cashier lady was a dick cause we was enchanging money cause the 20 Kev gave me wasn't enough so I picked up the difference. She was telling us we can't exchange money and that Rob needed to have his ID and he didn't. Before we went in some gay dude was checking me out. What the fuck. Funny shit though cause Rob saw it. I knew I was hot shit. Also, when we was walking out, some chick was crouching down and her ass crack was showing. What a beautiful sight. He head back to the unit.

Inside, I just talk story with Sabrena and Branch and Kevin. I meet up Rob outside and we drink. We talked story. Had some good laughs. When it was 1230, Sabrena was pau work and we all chilled. We later made plans for next, next Sunday that we are going to go out, Rob will get a limo, and we will cruz this island.

We were done around 2am today. Good times.

Today I did shit. That 2am shit took me out. Was just tired. I have to work 4am tomorrow. What the flying fuck. More reason why I AM GOING TO QUIT OR TRANSFER. Guarantee.

I need more free time. So fuck it, I'll do my job and come with a whatever attitude. Only be cool with the people I'm cool with and that's it.

Later fuckers.

Ohana night

Today, morning was usual. I made some french toast and went to work. Went over and talked story with the co workers I like to talk story with. Some people you can vibe with and shoot the breeze with and some you feel like you talking to a brick wall. All about vibing.

Anyway as for work. I'm still precepting my buddy Steve. Today he sort of did his shit but I need to be precepting him more better than just watching over my shoulder if he's doing his shit. I failed to take more responsiblity. And for that I was sort of pissed but tomorrow is another day so fuck it.

He needs to have more confidence in his abilities. That's all I see. Just like turning the key in your car and driving home. Or the sun coming up. You just know it and do it. He only has a few days left and I can't let him go on the floor as of yet but if he does, fuck it.

Anyway. Work was the same ol shit. I want to and will quit. My pay isn't enough for all the bullshit that's going on at work. I'm not getting paid enough for the shit I'm doing compared to the other units. But fuck it.

But weird shit happen. I took off a patient and the whole time I was asking if he was ok...dizzy...lightheaded...feeling ok. None stop. So I got a good standing blood pressure and then he gets his weight and he fucken starts to sway and he begins to fall. I catch his fall and he falls on me so he doesn't fucken hurt himself. Good thing, we do our shit, give him saline and he ends up ok. Fucken A.

Next I head up to Ohanas. I pick up my boy Vince and we go in. It's fucken dead. Just the bartenders friends. New bartender there. We get a beer and they give us some pupus. We shoot the shit and then some fucken drunk dude comes in. He sits a few chairs down and he starts talking bubbles. Was trippy as hell and funny. He's like to to bartender "Solid...solid...soli...soli"

The bartender is trying to fish shit from him and he says this girl left him for some other dude. Saying he wanted to fight but didn't cause the dude was big as fuck. He's just talking bubbles the whole time. No sentences, just one words.

Eventually he starts talking to us. He was like "Solid, guys is solid"
Anyway, I get my songs and I sing. Same songs. Don't care. The dude ends up talking to Vin. I can't really pay attention cause I was singing.

The bartender told him to go back to his seat and behave or she will throw him out. He goes back. Funny shit. Later he's like, "can can" I was like can what..he said "can be my friend"
I was like yeah man, it's all good man. Weird. So later Vince gets a beer. Fuck, it was on a tab and they always give us a beer but he didn't want. I told him fuck it just sandbag that shit.

I close the tab. They only charged for the beer and not for the three songs. Good shit. Was 11 bucks. Tipped 5. We leave.

We go to Porky's if there are any girls dancing. None so I just drop Vince off.

Went home and done.

That's my day.

Just a side note on vibing and some affirmations.

I will talk to girls...or guys... to see if I can vibe with them.
I give them the opportunity to have a peak of my world. And from there I will test them.
I test people to see if they can be part of my world. They must qualify.
Only people that qualify in my world. I will talk to them and associate with them.
If you don't meet my qualifications, I don't get mad at you...I cut you off.
If you don't qualify, I will ignore you but I don't go around hurting peoples feelings but if you don't qualify, fuck you. I will ignore you and look right through you.

I give everyone the opportunity to qualify. At one point of my interation with someone, I will see if they are adventurous, spontanious, funny, sassy ect...ect...
I will be funny, open and see if you would like to hang out.
If you don''t qualify, I won't look at you eye to eye, have a mono tone conversation with you and just act as if you are not in the room.

Ok, my affirmation and belief system. Internalize. Subconscious mind....

Thanks you fuckers hahahahahaha

Monday's

Nothing new to note here. Just working and working. I'm still precepting a new worker. He's getting better but his performance needs to be extremely different. Should be A LOT better and quicker. I need to watch him more.

I need to reflect more again on my goals in life and the things I WANT to do. In the next 1-2 years I will focus on:

1.Second income
2.Home
3.Car
4.If need, a loan for a home/car
5.Able to open targets with confidence
6.Exercise more

Yesterday

Last night after work, I meet up at Vince's house. I change and we drop off his girlfriend at work. We drive around. We hit up some clubs and drink. Nothing major.

We head back to his girls work place and we chill inside. I get introduced to some people and we just drink and talk story.

We head up to Exotics and I get introduced so some people. I fucken see my brother in law Roy there. That fucker. We just talk the shit. I meet his friend Solomon. Cool fucker. He got a strippers number. I met another dancer that was at a party. Nothing really major.

We end the day by going to Zippy's and eating. I crash at Vince's house.

Nothing really happened. Didn't sarge or meet new people by cold approach. It's alright. I'm getting out.

Not much

Sup,
Nothing special today. Just work. Today was pay day. Don't have much cash. Most of my money went into my 401k. Oh well.

Two day entry

Missed a day to post about the day. So this is for yesterday and today.

Yesterday, had my day off. Was lazy. I had plans to do but I was just lazy. I ended up going to my cousin Norman's house to play some hold'em. I'm having a hard time getting better but I'll get there some how. I lost twice. I did some magic. Some old tricks. Some new. Was cruzing for a while there. Got home around 4am today.

For today. I just worked. I'm still precepting my coworker. He's getting better but it's not there yet to be by himself. One day at a time I guess.

Not really much to report here. I'm starting to reflect more about my life and the shit I need to get done.

The financial part is my main focus. I need passive income that comes in weekly/monthly. The stocks and shit doesn't come in weekly. So far, I see a self-business as a way to gain the passive income. PASSIVE INCOME!!! I need it! I WILL GET IT!!!

All I need is 2k-5k minimum of passive income to be financially free. That's a goal to work with. It has to be take home money that can be cashed. I know when this is accomplished, I will have my TIME. Quixtar...maybe...

Be like a broker. Get coins, paintings, collect and sell.

Ok, enough random gibberish.

Later.

TALK ABOUT FUCKIN DRAMAS

Today...was a good exercise for me to block out negative emotions and just ignoring others, be it positive or negative for me. Regardless if the events was to help me for the future or to hurt me for the future, I was able to reflect and decide how I want to take these events. I can just shut my mouth, think "I'm not responsible for your emotions, you being pissed at me, you being happy at me." Don't add excess meaning to something.

What's fucked up is this is all work related. I decided in my life is that work does not take priority in my life. I don't give a fuck if it's for my family, for the patients at work, friends whatever. If it's not in MY PRIORITY, I don't give a fuck. And for anyone reading my blog, if you are not in my priority, FUCK YOU.

Now I don't go out of my way to hurt people but if the karma, vibe, mojo, whatever the fuck, doesn't go with my lifestyle and behavior, fuck you. I like you, but fuck you.

When it comes to learning, I'm all for it. My philosophies in life is that, if you aren't improving anything in life and if you think you are ok and settle for the standard, your life is dead. Don't care, if your alarm clock haven't changed in the last 2 years, your life is dead. Don't care if you got a two story house and all the toys and money, you still dead. Especially if you are lower than broke, you in debt. You are DEAD. But that rant is for another posting.

This is a rant sorry. hahahahaahahahahaha

Well, work was nuts. Lot's of drama. Like I said, I don't go around hurting others, but if you don't vibe with me, I cut you out. Being mad is a waste of emotion. I'd rather think about the future, and if you are trying to get a razz out of me or a comment, fuck it. Lets ignore whatever happen and lets think about tomorrow. That's it. It's not what you say but what you do. And I noticed if I just shut my mouth and not acknowledge you, I can pull you into my reality. The ones who don't get pulled in, fuck em. I ignore your ass.

Again, sorry for the rant.

Work, fuck. SOOO incongruent. I want to not think about work but I end up thinking about work. Weird world. But briefly. Some shit happen at work. We all not working at our potential. I know it. Regardless how well we are able to do the minimum. We are not improving. And like I said, if we don't strive to improve at anything. We are dead. So at work. Our behavior isn't up to par with how it should be and our communication isn't that great. We had shit on our chest and things were said.

Anyway, I come across like I know my shit. No, I can be wrong, and I will be wrong, but the thing is I take responsibility on what I do and say, wrong or right. But at the end of the day or during when I'm venting to myself, I will do what I can to improve. Everything at work, things when people say I'm doing junk at or get scoldings and I talk back, I improve.

I'm rambling aimlessly hahaha, love it. It's all about self talk and improvement.

In summary for work, people talking back at other people, people not helping each other improve, being talked bad about and those people not helping us improve. But for me, fuck it, tomorrow is another day and improve. Definition for crazy is doing the same thing over and over and hoping things will change.

At the end of the day, we all drank some alcohhol, talk story and shoot the shit, share some laughs and vibe well. Minus the alchohol, that's how life should be. We are all buddys and have well intentions with each other.

Enough of work.

For today, I woke up kinda late, 10am. Didn't do shit. I wanted to work out. Do some legs. I will make it a goal to wake up early and exercise.

I need to read also.

Tomorrow I'm off so I'll get a haircut from a real stylist. Be pimpin. Exercise. That's it.
I really want to vent on this fuckin blog.

I'm swearing a lot in this shit but it's ok. Swearing isn't negative. It's all in the beholder.

Other than work. Nothing really happen. Birds are still shitting on my car. I don't know. Need to sarge tomorrow. I'll probably go to malls and shit and talk to random chicks. It's all about picking up or socializing with random chicks.

I need to go to the bookstore and learn more about investing. I really need to think of other income without taking up another job. Remember cash flow chart. Business makes passive. Self employed and employed is active. Fuck active.

Anyway, enough bullshit that doesn't matter cause tomorrow is another day, and I'll just stop typing before I start crying or some weird shit.

Later for those reading this blog.

Another work day

I'm typing this at 12:03am but this is for the day before . Just got out of work, anyway.

Today was a funky day. I was able to workout this morning. Did chest and triceps. A two day blitz. I'll get more consistant. Maybe to legs tomorrow.

Working is the most negative thing going in my life so far. Don't really want to comment about work cause I plan to make it so insignificant in my life. I'll think of something as for income.

Didn't really do much other than that. I need to read more. Put some personal time to reflect to become a better person.

Later for now.

Another lazy day

Well fuck, today I was lazy as hell. I made plans to go shopping at Kahala Mall cause I have two give certificates and had plans to get a haircut. All that cancelled when I noticed that Tilt was on. Damn that show. Anyway, no sarging, lifting or shopping. But I did rest and it feels good having a break from work.

I washed my car yesterday and this morning when I went to grab some stuff out of it, a bird was standing on the roof. And fucking A, I see like dozens of bird crap all over my car. It's like they picked my car roof as the best spot. Will probably just hoes it down tomorrow.

I also got a call from my homeboy Noland. I called him earlier if he wanted to chill, but he got sick so he's just resting also. This whole island is getting sick it's crazy. Just told him we should go out and shit around Friday/Saturday.

I need to stop procrastinating. I remember listening to Brian Tracy say that your enviorment is a reflecting of your inner self and he said that if your room is messy and disorganized, that you as a person is disorganized and negative. So I need to change that.

Need to set more goals in life before life gets boring.
Work/Investments
1. Max out 401k
2.Buy books and tapes on investments
3.Create a bond with a bank
4.Brainstorm about a business

Personal
1.Haircut
2.A place to live
3.Lexus/Hummer, a convertable
4.Sarge more frequently
5.New woredrobe
6.Clean home/car
7.Read more books
8.Compose 3 songs
9.Workout more consistantly

First Post

Wassup folks,

First post of my blog and first time using a blog. I'll be using this as a journal of some sort. I will make it a goal to post daily even if I did shit for the day like "Today I bought a pair of boxers."

Anyway this is for entertainment purpose only so have fun!